Here are a few of the things we’ve had to learn about, repair, learn more about, and sometimes fix again (because shit breaks on an RV, all the time, and The Toad came with no maintenance records, and we rather suspect that’s because the prior owners didn’t do any maintenance), plus a few things we wanted to change (even in an RV, we downsized), and a few accessories we’ve purchased to make this lifestyle work even better for us. So thankful for my handy husband!
Everything below is pulled from Facebook, to create a history of events before I started blogging on Oct. 1, 2015. Further fixes & upgrades will be included as they happen, on the Home page. You can also use the handy-dandy “Categories” drop-down menu in the sidebar to select “Mods & Upgrades” which will give you access to all those posts in reverse chronological order.
And if you want to see us talk about a few, while giving a tour of our first RV, The Toad, check out this June 2017 video by Heartland RVs.
One of our first improvements was to cover all four exterior stairs with carpet. Turned out someone’s furry black scaredy-cat ass was afraid to go up the metal steps into the RV.
So if carpeting and dog treats hadn’t worked, we’d have been offering up a used 2005 black lab hybrid. High miles, visible wear, reliable.
Turns out? The fancy crackle pattern in our microwave/convection oven door?
Not a pattern.
Which I deduced when I reheated my dinner leftovers and found little crumbs of glass on the ledge inside the door.
Oh.
Well, shit.
Two phone calls and $60 later, a replacement glass panel was on the way, and two weeks later we did the work.
If “RV With a Central Vac Appreciation Day” isn’t a holiday, it should be. Teensy weensy shards were all over the damn place, including inside shirts and all up in my ponytail.
(clasps hands to chest and sighs) It’s here!
Our very own shit hauler. Does my man know how to take care of me, or what?
Lesson 1: Even in an RV, plumbing repairs are still a thing. Leak stopped, faucet replaced.
Mods and maintenance day: installing a dual-monitor arm on the desk, scraping and re-caulking exterior seams.
Turns out I’m better at caulking than Tim is.
Don’t say that out loud.
We may need to downsize the dog too, as a 50-lb lab blocks every passageway.
There is precisely one spot in here where Lola is not in the way, so she strictly avoids it.
Today we deconstructed our bed to figure out what it’s gonna take to turn it from a king to a queen. Yes, even within the RV we are downsizing.
But after we relocate a little wiring, shift the hydraulics to the left, and do a little creative carpentry, we will be able to walk on each side of the bed, rather than shuffle sideways. It’s a big deal.
Oh, and that’s Tim’s “We’ve put the whole thing back together, screws and all, and uh, I think I left my tape measure under there, dammit” look.
So it took all damn day and into the night, but there’s only a little left to do tomorrow to complete our king-to-queen RV bed project.
I could have made any number of off-color jokes about all the ratcheting, screwing, hammering, nailing, drilling, grunting, swearing, sweating, shifting of hydraulics and twisting of nuts that went on, but that would have been too easy. So instead I just kept track of what we said. I think you’ll be amply amused.
Had you been lurking in our driveway between 11 a.m. and 9 p.m. today, you may have felt your eyebrows rise right up into your hairline upon hearing any number of the following, all of which we actually said, for real, no kidding:
Hold it there. No, not there. There. OK, now tighter.
Stop stop stop!
Did it go through?
Please stop farting in here.
Did it come out?
Can you see the end?
Shit! It broke.
Oh god. Where’s the vacuum cleaner?
Honey, I really don’t think you need your safety glasses for this.
Is that a tortilla chip?
Is that blood?
Ten inches. Remember ten inches.
Pass me my magic gloves, please.
Does it matter which way I turn this?
Are we finished yet?
This may be too soft.
Stop. Farting.
I don’t know what you want me to do with this.
Put it on the end.
This is such a handy tool.
Wait. We’re missing a piece.
Is that blood?
That hurt.
Are we gonna be able to get that back in?
Take that off.
I need another little piece in there so I have something to screw against.
I have no idea what that is.
Oh wow! That’s actually close enough.
93.5 inches. OK, let it go.
I don’t know if I’m in the right spot.
Ooh, I walked around the corner and got it in my eyes.
I don’t need a four-inch. I need three-inch, but I don’t see any.
OK, I’m gonna be more down on this end now.
Oops! That didn’t go in very far did it?
Where’d the head go?
I can’t believe the battery just died right in the middle.
I’m gonna want another one in a minute.
Why won’t that go in?
Well, can you brace it with your knee or something?
Ohhhh, I am gonna be sore tomorrow.
Well let’s push it out and see what happens.
This is why I need a bigger workshop.
Never mind. I’m already done. You really need to take better care of your toys.
I love these clamps.
Good thing nobody’s looking, right?
Huh. I wasn’t expecting that to strip.
That’s the side we don’t need to touch right?
Oh my god stop farting!
Wonder how those got in there.
Is that more blood? Jesus Christ.
How about you go get cleaned up first?
Lookit what my handy man built: an RV stow-n-go desk extension, which makes our office area big enough to share!
Shit.
Our first blow-out.
Nobody’s hurt. But uh, this may take a while.
Tim made arrangements for some custom welding, and now we can carry our bicycles right outside our living room window.
Nice rack, I say!
And I’m allowed.
Two RV projects down:
– space saving spice rack installed in kitchen
– eye bolt and bungee cord barriers added to overhead cabinets, in hopes of preventing their contents from becoming projectiles, thus eliminating future endeavors like the…
Two to go:
– replacing crippled ceiling fan (thwacked by a flying box of office supplies)
– repairing torn window screen (a computer keyboard went through it).
Contents may shift during travel.
Indeed.
Glad I married a man who ain’t afraid to get his hands (and hair, and face, and arms, and every stitch of clothing) dirty.
Also glad the wheels are back on and the axle is now straight.
But that shirt is so not going in with the rest of the laundry!
Jacks and cylindrical things and metal plates ‘n’ parts!
Tim’s been a busy man beneath my feet. (All up in my undercarriage. I know. Trust me, I have pondered the numerous double entendres.)
Luckily we had help from an experienced welder/fabricator kinda dude here in the RV park, and he was willing to work for a home-cooked meal instead of money. T-bones on the grill, cucumber-tomato salad, homemade bread, and raspberry cheesecake pie tonight for our new best friend!
I may not know a brake drum from a bass drum, but damned if I can’t housewife my ass off all day to show my appreciation.
Yes, I stared at that slogan for a long, long time before I was able to summon my problem-solving skills, open the box, and assemble the wagon — which I then used to haul the empty box to the dumpster. It’s the circle of life, y’all. And now I have an easier way to schlep our dirty clothes to the laundry facility.
